withdrawal

I have it on good authority (see the comment to yesterday's blog) that I probably am in withdrawal. So in addition to wrestling with the 800 lb gorilla, I've got a monkey on my back! Hey, enough already with the simian metaphors! Actually, it's not so bad today so I'll probably hang tough and ride it out.

Withdrawal always makes me think of the movie "The Man With the Golden Arm" that my cousin D and I went to see at a rather young age. It's about a guy hooked on heroin, starring Frank Sinatra as the addict who was also a drummer and a poker player. Frank wasn't a bad actor when he put his mind to it. That was a very scary movie for a couple of young guys. I don't know how old we were, but I was driving so I suppose 20 or so.

Sunny today in the EF. When the dog and I went down for the paper at about 7:30, the sun was in the treetops, just coming over the mountain. Birds singing, sun in the treetops- really nice. I think I'll cut the grass today, later after it dries out.

I see a photo of me made daughter M's blog. Click on Bootstrap Productions in the blog list on the right. That's me under the quilt she made for me! I'm cold all the time, since the gorilla made it's appearance, so the quilt really works well.

fog

It's a foggy day in the EF today. Very quiet due to fog, of course. Can't even hear the rooster across the street. Maybe he didn't get up yet since the light is so dim. I don't think the Marks are out yet either; no hammering or anything. Foggy is kinda spooky, ya know?

I see they are evacuating N.O. Seems a little early to me, but what do I know? I think they are overreacting to the snafu with Katrina. Like the military, they are fighting this battle with the weapons from the last war. Good luck to them. It occurs to me once again that the Northeast is just about the perfect place to live weather wise. We're out of the tornado alley in the mid west, out of the hurricanes in the tropics, out of the really heavy snow area, out of the really hot weather areas, and we get the seasons changing. Why would anyone want to live anywhere else?

I'm having thoughts that maybe I'm getting withdrawal symptoms from the stopping the higher level of Oxycontin. Dr D told me that 40 mg/day would result in mild addiction, but Dr W kind of disagreed. I'm feeling kinda sickish and out of sorts. The pain is OK so I'll continue on the 10 mg twice a day. If it is withdrawal, it should gradually subside. The data sheet from the drug store is silent on withdrawal. I'll do a Google search and see what I can find.

wetter

Remember the saying about being careful for what you wish for, because you may get it? It's been raining for 24 hours now. The grass is mostly green and perky, the garden is saying "thank you, thank you!" This morning I had fresh tomato, fresh green pepper, and fresh Jalapeno, all from the garden, in my gross eggs. Outstanding! There was hardly room for the eggs!

I reduced my pain pills from 20 mg to 10 again. Dr W said to try it and go back if needed. I do feel pretty good now, a week after the iv chemo and a day after the last of the oral chemo. I've got very little discomfort- only a twinge in the left lung now and then. Pain pills (Oxycontin) are a strong narcotic and I don't want to take any more of that than needed.

Gustav is really looking bad for New Orleans. Of course, things could change, but the prediction right now is aiming right at N.O.

I downloaded IE8 beta yesterday. Pretty nice, better colors, faster loading of web pages. It did crash once, but you expect that with a beta. The Google toolbar won't work yet- not yet compatible.

I did watch Obama's speech last night. It was an OK political speech, kinda thin on specifics, as they tend to be. The only specific I caught is to eliminate our dependence on mid-east oil in 10 years. Nothing on global warming- hey, Barack, talk to Al Gore!

The word on CNN this morning is that McCain will pick Sarah Pallin, the governor of Alaska, to be the VP nominee. She seems to be a real conservative; right to life, strong 2nd Amendment supporter, etc. She likes hunting and fishing; maybe she won't shoot a member of her hunting party, like Cheney did. One trusts she understands economics and can run a computer. The real thing she brings is executive experience in running a state. And lots of symbolism in being a woman, especially as Barack didn't pick Hillary. Of course, Sarah doesn't come with Bill, a real advantage. That would be two westerners on the ticket, not much balance if that means anything. We'll see what develops.

wet

We finally got some wet. Seems to have rained last night, although neither of us heard it. We really need rain; the garden is yelling for water and the grass is going dormant like it does. On the other hand, hurricane Gustav is moving into the Gulf on a direct line for New Orleans. Bummer. That city may be approaching not being viable any longer.

Went to Montoursville yesterday to get a cockpit cover for the 'yak. The 'yak was still on top of the Outback, so we could be sure the cover would fit. It does. We took the 'yak down and put it in the garage, so that system is ready to go for the Northern Expedition.

We also stopped at Johnson's for lunch and I had one of their outstanding Reuben sandwiches. This led to some minor gastric distress. Dinner was another giant cheeseburger w/o bun, tomatoes and feta, and margaritas. I've taken to putting a drop of green food color in the margaritas; doesn't change the taste, but looks nice.

I think today will be an inside day, since it looks more rain coming and I have a lot of indoor stuff to do- filing and the like. Plus I can use the rest.

pain

Pain is not good. I spent a good deal of yesterday adjusting the 'yak rack on the Outback. It works! It needed a lot of adjusting, which involved a lot of lifting and pushing and pulling, all of which aggravated the pain, especially in the left lung area. So I skipped dinner, sort of- just had some cheese, tomatoes, and sliced turkey- and went to bed early. Then I took an extra oxy pain pill. I do feel pretty good this morning.

I suppose I wouldn't have any pain if I sat in a corner and didn't do anything., but that is not me. This is the life I have and I'm going to live it.

I've been putting a fresh tomato (from the garden) in my gross eggs. Outstanding! And I can eat them with Feta cheese too. Of course, this means there are not too many. Last year they made me sick, and we had a bumper crop. I suppose this is another example of the Law of the Innate Perversity of Inanimate Objects, the same Law which says that if you drop jelly bread it always lands face down.

sleep

Sleep is good. I seem to be caught up, after a nap yesterday and a good night's sleep. Ahh! Feels great!

I invented a cheeseburger sort of thing last night for dinner. Took a lb of ground beef, formed into 2 patties, large patties. Sprinkled some Worcestershire on and grilled while simultaneously and at the same time sauteing half an onion in olive oil. When I turned the patties, I put a slice of Provolone on each. By the time they were done, the cheese was nicely melted, as in a cheeseburger. Put them on a plate and smothered them in sauteed onions. Excellent! Also had a large beer mug size margarita with them. Digested very well; no gastric distress. Note to self: No grains! Coincidentally, or maybe not, daughter M can't eat any wheat. Hmm.

I watched the Dem convention last night, which reinforced what I have always disliked about them. Their heroes: Ted Kennedy, who left Mary Jo to die. John Kennedy, who was carrying on with a mob prostitute in the White House. And got us into the Viet Nam war, a fact his daughter forgot to mention when she claimed him to be a man of peace. Jimmy Carter, who meant well but was totally ineffectual. Bill Clinton, with Whitewater and Monica and all, but at least was able to get things done. And Hillary, who was only able to run for the nomination because she was married to Bill and was defeated because she still is married to Bill. Barack is the best of the lot. Of course, none of them sink to the depths of W, which must stand for WORST! Sorry- rant over.

Yesterday I called the motel where we'll be staying on the way to the Northern Front. Guy is very helpful, said a 12.5 feet long 'yak will just about fit into a room. He has us down for a ground floor room. He also offered to put it in a storage area if necessary. So that system is "go". Now the issue is if we can handle it. Thing only weighs 40 lbs, same as a bag of dog food, but neither of us is as strong as we used to be. We'll use the Outback, so it won't need to be lifted very high. Back when I bought it, before the encounter with the 800 lb gorilla, I could put it up on and take it down from the Pilot by myself. Damn gorilla.

awake

Boy, am I awake! I fell asleep watching Sunday Night Baseball with Joe and Jon (Phillies vs. Dodgers), then woke up at about 9:30, took my meds, brushed teeth, etc, turned off the TV, and lay in bed wide awake. I spent most of the night awake, with several short sleep periods. I suspect this is due to the chemo wearing off; kinda a rebound effect. I had a little discomfort in the area of my left lung, so took an Oxycodone at about 3. Discomfort went away, so I was wide awake and comfortable. Quiet night, cloudy and warm. Finally rained at about 4 or 5. I suspect I'll crash soon and have to take a sleeping day. Whatever.

We're working on a plan to take the kayak on our expedition to the Northern Front. Major issue is that I don't want to leave it on the car overnight. Yes, it has a lock and cable, but several snips with a bolt cutter and one would have a several thousand dollar 'yak. We can't drive non-stop, due to medical issues with both of us, so we have to stop in a motel on the way for at least one night. The second night we'll be with E et al in NH. S said we could leave the 'yak there on the Northern Front if we want to, so the return trip would not have any issues. But I need to work on that one night.

better

Today I'm better than I was yesterday, but still not well. Not as well as I get, anyway. I just feel crappy- nothing very specific. I had some uncomfortableness in my chest, so I'm back on 20 mg oxycontin again. Maybe I'll try 10 again after I get by this period of crappy feeling from the IV chemo.

So I got up this morning, and walked my faithful dog down to get the paper. Mom made breakfast again, back to gross eggs. Tasted good, too. Then I went back to bed. Didn't sleep- just lay there feeling crappy. I just got up and zapped my tea from breakfast and am drinking it with GORP for lunch. Weight was 155 Friday; back down to 150 today. I can see why Dr W said some people just can't cope with the chemo- it's really tiresome. But: STABLE. So I'll put up with it for a while longer.

sick

So, yesterday I ate only low carb. GORP for lunch, then left over shrimp and tomatoes, then later grilled pork chops. I felt full. That was OK, but then nothng ever moved. I was waking up every hour or so still feeling full. Finally did move my bowels, which helped a lot. This AM I felt sick, so I didn't even get up. Finally had two hard boiled eggs at 10:30 or so, followed by my oral chemo. Now it's 1:00 and I'm starting to feel a little human. I think the whole thing is still side effects from the IV chemo I had Thursday. You may remember Dr B the DIL said that the side effects can be cumulative, so each time I get a treatment the effects are worse. Sure seems that way!

I watched the US women's soccer win for the gold. Awesome!

Joe Biden? Kinda makes sense when you think about it. Now McCain needs a guy with a good background in economics.

low-carb

Another thing we discussed with Dr W was the fact that I can't seem to digest carbs. Diarrhea every time. Protein, and any kind of meat, digests nicely. Some of you may remember Dr S at Penn told me to stick to a junk diet. Dr W essentially told me, like the old joke, "if it hurts when you do that, don't do that". So now we're getting serious about low carb, just like when I was on the Atkins diet.

Hmm. I'm watching the women's modern pentathlon, and they're doing the Epee! Funny way though, only one touch and only one minute. Epee was my weapon.

I'm still in the midst of the hangover from the chemo yesterday. This too shall pass.

fusion

Wednesday AM was the cold fusion seminar. There is a bunch of guys out there who are true believers. They are reporting results, publishing, etc. In short, doing science regarding cold fusion. It's called Low Energy Nuclear Reactions now, LENR. Here's a web site for one of the hotbeds.:

http://newenergytimes.com/index.htm

Interesting guys; they really believe. In fact, there is a little of the persecuted true believer air hanging around them. Is LENR the answer to everything? They think so. My take home message? Could be! Think I'll try to do literature searching. I have an STN Easy account, so I can actually see papers.

After that, the drive home was kinda anti-climatic. I was kinda wiped out, though. After a margarita in a beer mug, which works well at home too, and steak for dinner, to bed early.

Today we had to get up at the crack of dawn, which comes right after O-dark-30, to get to Geisinger by 8:00 AM. Then the usual blood work, weight (157!!) and meet with Dr W who said I am stable, which I wrote about earlier. He put me on 10 mg, half the strength, Oxycontin too, since I was having no pain at all. I can always go back to 20 if needed. Meds are good when you need them, but I'm not sure I need this one right now.

Now I'm sick with the usual post chemo blues. It passes in a few days.

Stable

Stable- that's what I am vis-a-vis the 800 lb gorilla. Dr White says the CART scan showed the pulmonary nodules are stable, as in not growing. Weight is up, the CA 19-9 marker is up a very little. Pain is down, energy is up, appetite is good. All good things. He says that is we stop the chemo he would expect tumors to start growing again, although sometimes they don't. I guess this means that the first round of our wrestling match is a draw.

I actually feel better, subjectively, than all the above indicates. What that means is really not known, but I'll take it.

Want to get this posted before someone out there busts a gut. More later.

tomorrow

I think I'm going to pack up whatever I can tonight. That will include the laptop. So this will be my last post from here. Tomorrow AM there is a symposium on cold fusion, which IMHO is our best hope for the future of civilization on this planet. So I'll catch that and then grab my bags and leave. Check out time is 12 so I should have time, but not a lot. BTW, check in is 4 so they were not really being unreasonable in not having a room ready at 3:15. The hotel was sold out that night, my buddy the shoe-shine guy told me.

I found a sports bar on the first floor of the convention center, along with the Reading Terminal Market. So I think I'll go there for a cheese steak for dinner, with maybe a beer to wash it down.

You should consider this to be tomorrow's blog; there will not be another until Thursday.

Philly

Yesterday afternoon I walked over to Williams-Sonoma. They didn't have any 2-prong skewers either, but the nice guy found some in another store which he will ship to the EF. So a successful quest.

Again, very noticeable how helpful and nice the big city service people are.

On to the Expo, which doesn't seem very different from what it was 40 years ago. The technology has improved and all that, but the same people are selling the some sorts of things.

I went back to Chili's for dinner; this time it was shrimp and chicken fajitas with the obligatory margarita. Again, excellent, and again, excellent service.

This AM I had the breakfast buffet, which consisted of scrambled eggs, bacon, and sausage. This was a successful attempt to avoid the mid-morning gastric distress I encountered yesterday. Once again I demonstrated that protein digests well, but carbohydrate leads to gastric distress. I feel kinda like I'm back on the Adkins diet.

fajita

Had some really excellent fajita for dinner last night at Chili's. Also a fine margarita which tasted a lot like the last ones we made.

But first- arrived in Philly at abut 3:15 after an uneventful trip from the EF. I had 2 hot dogs with mustard, relish, onion, and saurkraut at the Hickory Run service area, familiar to some of you. When I got here they said my room wasn't ready yet. They did check my bags while I waited. There is a Starbucks on site, so I had a nice cup of tea while checking out the area. I got back to the registration area- still not ready. This is about ten after four. I use the men's room- a guy, kinda young, is at the sink with his shirt off, and he gives me a song and dance about being an E3 in the Army and his dad being in an accident and can I give him a few bucks so he go to see him. I say "no" and leave. there is a second registration desk, just in front of the couches where I'm hanging out, for Elite registration, so I go there and tell the guy that there a dude panhandeling in the men's room. he calls Security and that's that. Guy is very thankful for my effort. At 4:30, I decide I'm going to the desk again, and if there is still not a room, will ask to see the manager. On the way I say "hi" to my new best friend, and kinda of jokingly, but serious too, ask him if there is anything he can do to get me aroom. Two minutes later I have a key to one of the Elite rooms and am on my way. Elite status is for people who stay a lot- sorta like frequent sleepers. Really nice room. I don't know, or care, if it's much different than the regular rooms. So I get all my clothes unpacked and hung and all.

I went to Chili's for dinner and had a margarita on the rocks to start. They serve them in a large beer mug, and it tastes a lot like our last effort at home- lots of juice, not a lot of alcohol, and lots of ice. Fajita is excellent. I comes out of the kitchen trailing a cloud of smoke, always a good sign in a fajita. Meat is excellent, veggies too, tortillas are nicely warm in their own little covered container. All in all, very well done all around. Living out in the boonies like we do, we tend to forget how well big city resturants do things and how good their wait-staff is.

So back to the room, put on Sunday night baseball. At 9 I realize I not only don't know the score, I don't even know who is playing. I do know Jon and Joe are doing the game. So I shut off the TV and go back to sleep.

This morning was uneventful- had an omelet, then on to Grubbs paper. it was a mob scene, no chance to get to talk to him without being a large PIA. For those who may not be aware, Bob Grubbs was Elizabeth's thesis adviser; he go the Nobel in'02. Then on to a paper on global warming which was quite interesting. Now I'm worn out, and just in time too since I have nothing on the agenda for this afernoon.

IN a few hours, I'm off to Philly. I'll be at the Marriott Downtown http://www.marriott.com/hotels/travel/phldt-philadelphia-marriott-downtown/ until Wednesday. I've made all the arrangments I can to have internet acess in the hotel, but you know how hotels are. If y9ou don't hear from me it simply means I can't get access. ACS made arrangments for all atendees to have free access from our rooms, so we'll see how that works.

Weight is still the same, right close to 150.

We tried another margarita recipe last evening:
tequila 1/4 cup, Cointreau 1/8 cup (=2 tblsp), lime juice 1/2 cup, orange juice 1/2 cup. That's a ratio of 1:1/2:2:2, with about 20% tequila, and makes a very nice refreshing drinkable drink on the rocks.

Gotta go- catch ya later!

CAT

CAT scan happened. We arrived at the hospital at 2, on time. Had my first drink at 2:15. Nice lady offered to use the port in my chest instead of sticking me in the arm. I agreed- easy call- then went upstairs to the Oncology clinic to have them access the port. That means they insert a needle through the port and flush it with heparin. Then they can hook up a line from anywhere. In the mean time, the access thing just hangs out under my shirt on my chest. While there, I also started the process to get my script for Oxycontin. Since that's a controlled substance, that has to be done hands-on; no phone renewals.

Second drink was at 2:45. The drinks are a contrast dye which ends up in the system somewhere so they can see contrasts. Got the script at 3:10 or so, so I went to the pharmacy to get it filled. The last time we had one filled at CVS they told us they no longer carried generic and suggested we get it somewhere else. There being a line, I went back to the CAT scan area and gave Mom the script while I went in for the third drink and the scan. Scan went very easily with the port instead of the stick on the arm. They never were able to do that in the past, but have modified the system so it works. They use that to inject another contrast dye into the blood stream. By the time I finished the scan, Mom had the script filled. They told her the manufacturer no longer offers generic. What's with that? I'll bet it has something to do with Oxycontin being the street drug of choice.

So we went to Perkins for a very late lunch. I had to fast for the scan, so I was really hungry. The contrast drinks helped with thirst issues. Then home, where a certain amount of gastric distress was encountered. That cleared up, mostly, by bedtime.

Did you see the latest Bigfoot thing? I never got a real good look, but Piltdown Man comes to mind.

I saw the USA-Canada women's soccer match the other day. Good match. US won. Brandi Chastain did the commentary; you'll be interested to know she kept her shirt on. I still think soccer would be a better game to watch if they were able to hang on to the ball. The way it is I get the impression that luck plays too big a role.

I watched some of the boxing. Same old, same old. The judging is really subjective. They count hits with the front of the glove on the head or body, and there is some complex way that more than one judge has to score it for the hit to count. They are going to get kicked out of the Olympics if they don't come up with a scoring system which everyone accepts as fair. The rules are made by the governing body for the sport, as they are for all the other sports as well.

Today I've got to finalize the packing. I discovered yesterday that a lot of my polo shirts are too big to be comfortable. When I was working, we changed our dress code to business casual; basically the rule was we needed collar on the shirt. So I discovered polo shirts were as comfortable as T shirts with a collar. So I've got a lot of them. I was planning on wearing polo shirts in the evening for dinner and the like. Not a big deal; I could always just take the tie off and wear the dress shirt.

clothes

Clothes make the man! Or at least make him feel better. I went on a quest yesterday, and wore new Dockers and a polo shirt that fit, and shined shoes. I felt entirely better about myself, and better than when I was drooping around. This whole idea of going to the ACS in Philly is turning out to be a real good thing for my attitude about life and myself.

I see I forgot to spell check yesterday. Sorry! I'll try to remember in the future.

Kinda damp and chilly today in the EF, after rain last night. Today is the CT scan; we won't get the results until we see Dr W next Thursday. Weight about 150 again today.

photo

The new photo, obviously, is what I look like now, as oposed the old one which was prior to my encounter with the 800 lb gorilla. There is about 90 lb difference in my weight. Right now I'm 150, same as yesterday. I have a nice doctor's office balance, not a scale, so I'm pretty confident in that weight. I'm going to weigh myself every AM when I'm home and will share that number with you. Dr D said weight is the only objective mesure we have of how I am.

Cousin S sent me her margarita recipe, which includes orange juice. Interesting. She still end up with nearly 50% tequila which seems too much to me. I'm thinking 1:1:1:1 tequila-Cointreu-lime juice-orange juice or maybe 2 lime and no orange, depending on how limy and how sweet it comes out. I've got to get myself one of those net squeesers that turn the lime inside out. I saw them using one on the Food Channel; Williams-Sonoma has one, but I'll try to find one locally and probably cheaper.

All quiet at the Marks today. We used to be able to wtch them doing the construction, but the trees are now too high. We can only see over there when the leaves are off.

So, here a good photo of me in my new jacket, with Burns Check tartan necktie. I also changed the blog photo, but it's small. I kinda did a dress rehearsal for the ACS today. It's nice to get dressed gain. It was a pain to wear a tie every day, back in the day, but nice for a change. Enjoy!

blazer

WE went to Woolrich yesterday and I bought a new navy blue blazer. Yes, I did. My old one is too big to be comfortable, and who wants to spend 3 days at a convention being uncomfortable. Blazer is really nice, a real light weight worsted wool. It has a great hand. When I was in the Army back in the day I had a khaki tropical worsted uniform, which was optional to wear. It too was really comfortable in the heat. Wonder what I did with that? Maybe B ended up with it.

Our Amish neighbors, the Marks, are building a new barn. They start work at about 7, when I'm thinking about getting up. Boy, those people work! For those who may not be familiar with the Amish, a family is refered to by the first name of the father. The family across the road is Mark Stolsfus et al, refered to as the Marks, which differentiates them from the Johns, Marks brother's family, who live down the road.

Thinking about margaritas- the store bought mix calls for using 3 parts mix to 1 part tequila, which is 25% tequila. The common recipe I found is 3:2:1 where the 3 is tequila. That's 50% tequila, plus the alcohol in the Cointreau, which will make it a sipping drink rather than a drinking drink. We actually use 4 parts mix to one tequila, which is 20% tequila, and is a nice refreshing drinkable drink. Hmm. Going to be interesting.

Margarita

Inspired my M, the younger daughter, I've decided to try to make margaritas from scratch, as opposed to from a mix. M is going to do it too. I only drink one at a time (all right, one of those was a double) so it should be the best I can make, right? A brief internet search found several recipes. The consensus is tequila, lime juice and Cointreau in the ratio of 3:2:1., although one has it as 3:1:2. They do agree that Cointreau is needed, not triple sec. Further research indicates that Cointreau is a bitter orange liqueur; triple sec is too, but seems to be a generic version. Hmmm. Sounds like lots of experiments. Whatever shall I do with all the samples? Oh well, maybe something will occur. Rumor has it that the denizens of the Near Northern Front in New Hampshire have developed the perfect recipe. Perhaps they could share it, which might eliminate re-doing some of the experiments.

All quiet on the Southern Front. That's funny; one doesn't usually think of Pennsylvania as being the south, but everyone else is further north. I don't count La-La land, which is the West, even though it's further south than Pennsylvania.

Watching the second half of the US/NZ women's soccer game. US is up 4-nil in the 89th minute.

I just documented my GORP recipe if anyone would like a copy. I'm eating GORP as an all morning nibble to get more calories. Pretty good with Boost.

US women's soccer team just won the match and the group. Dunno exactly what that means, but appears to be good!

Chaucer

Chaucer was right! This morning at the crack of dawn, which comes just after O-dark-30, the neighbor's rooster crowed, nice and clear and loud. Just like Chaucer described it. Not that I ever doubted Chaucer- he was a pretty acute observer of the human condition. Odd that he never mentioned the Plague, though.

I watched the last of the USA-Norway women's soccer game this morning. USA lost. Too bad. I didn't get to see the whole game, so can't say if it was a good game or not.

In case anyone is interested in the other 800 lb gorilla in the room, which nobody ever mentions, see

http://www.chemotherapy.com/treating_with_chemo/remission/goal.jsp#

I remain in good condition- still some gastric distress if I eat ice cream, for example, which might be the lactose intolerance. Whatever- I'm noticeably better than when I was in the same position on the last chemo cycle. Not to get any hopes up, but I feel better! Back before the chemo, I was noticeably worse over time- I would feel worse. We'll see what the medical people have to say after the CT scan next week.

For the record, I did have more margarita last evening. In fact, you could call it a double. Love that lime!

Now the Olympics has hockey- which they are taking pains to tell us is the real name of the game played on grass with a ball and sticks. The game played on ice is called ice hockey, I guess. The ball sounds hard, maybe wood. They say it's been played for 2000 years and is the oldest stick-and-ball game. I guess that would make it the ancestor of all those games- soccer, handball, and the like. They play with little short sticks.

quiet

Olympics are awesome in HD! Presently it's USA-Netherlands in men's soccer, or football if you prefer. I don't find soccer very interesting to watch, generally. I missed the USA women's sabre team sweep yesterday- I was asleep. Fencing is not very good to watch either; much more fun to do. When I was fencing, I used to try to describe to people moves I'd made- "parry fourth, double disengage, thrust, lunge" and non-fencing people just go "huh?". It happens so fast it's hard to see. That little move I described above is faster to do than to type. I suspect soccer is kinda the same thing. If I was soccer person I'd probably appreciate it more. And I never played it much, as opposed to baseball which my friends and I played all the time.

Anyway, I remain fine. We had margaritas again last evening, so that's two for two. I do appreciate daughter M helping out from the Western Front. I hope the denizens of the Northern Front are doing their part. Come to think of it, haven't heard from the Northern Front for a while. Yeah, I know, all is quiet on the Northern Front.

I got my toilet fixed- new flapper valve did the job. I tried to get the shower control handle apart, but couldn't. So I put it back together again, and must have tightened things up since it seems fixed too. I count that as two for two! Now it's really quiet at night- no drip in the shower, no water running in the middle of the night for no good reason.

USA just scored their second goal- it really was a picture book goal where even I could see what they did. Maybe I should watch some more.

Just checked email and there is a note from S the DIL with new pictures of the grandbaby, so I guess all is well (albeit quiet) on the Northern Front.

Margarita!

So, eldest daughter E and her big black dog (also E, btw) came for the weekend. Last evening, for before dinner drinks, we had margaritas. Wow! I immediately felt about a 1000% better- active, hungry, awake. We had tomato and feta, then grilled chicken, potato salad, and a jello thingy, all with red wine, and I ate some of everything and wanted more. I can't remember when I felt like eating that much. And no discomfort after, either. This morning, more of the same. I actually made my own breakfast and fed my faithful dog, also for the first time in a long time. Now if I could put some weight back on, I'd be happy. I understand there is some on the Western Front I could have, if I could get it. I'm sitting here snacking on GORP and Boost for mid-morning snack.

I don't know what's going on here, but I like it! I seriously think the margarita was coincidence, but I'm willing to have one every day to test the theory. It's the least I can do for science. And let's not forget the "other" 800 lb gorilla in the room, which we won't talk about.

We watched the Olympic opening stuff. Did y'all notice there was a pipe and drum band playing for lots of the parade of nations? Yes, a bagpipe band, playing traditional Scottish pipe marching music. I recognized "Cock O' the North" for one, and several other tunes that sounded familiar but I couldn't put a name to. What's with that, anyway? Pipes and drums at the Olympics in Peking?

Now that I'm feeling so good, I need to go out to Lowe's and get some parts to stop a little leak in our bathroom toilet and a slight drip in our shower. Then, of course, actually fix said appliances.

Bureaucracy

I fought my way through the GMC bureaucracy yesterday to straighten out the appointment issues. It only took about 10 minutes to get to K, Dr W's nurse, who was properly apologetic and nicely straightened out things. The whole thing happened because the scheduler didn't call me when the appointment was made, and then K didn't get back to me when I emailed about the problem. Dr W is on rounds the week of the 21st, whatever that is, so the scheduler made the appointment for the 14th. K set it up so that I have to go in for an 8AM appointment on the 21st, before Dr W goes to rounds, which is a minor pain. So the schedule is fine.

My CT scan is scheduled for next Friday, the 15th, at 2. That will give the radiologists and Dr W almost a week until my appointment on the 21st.

I woke up cold this morning. Actually, I didn't wake up enough. I was cold but not awake enough to do anything about it. All I needed to do was to reach up and turn on the electric mattress pad and all would have been well. But no, I just laid there half asleep and miserable. Dumb. I'm never too warm any more; prior to the encounter with the 800 lb gorilla I was always warm. I feel like I missed summer this year- there was never a time when I was too warm, except for getting into a car which has been sitting in the sun. I go around in sweats all the time, with brief periods in shorts and T shirt when I'm actually out in the sun. Being in ac is really bad; I have to take a jacket or sweatshirt to stay indoors.

I think my keyboard is going. I seem to be missing letters a lot, a lot more than I used to. The spell checker catches the missing letters, mostly. Fortunately, keyboards are cheap.

good

Looks like a good day, finally. No discomfort, no gastric distress today. Not yet, anyway! Kinda showery out right now.

Had a funny dream last night. I was on a large boat thing with various family members, all of whom were sleeping. The dog jumped into the water in the middle of the night, and I had to get him back on. I thought to myself, with all the dogs this family has, there must be a way to get them into the boat. So I looked on the side, and sure enough, there was this long ramp sort of thing which went down into the water. The top end was at a gate in the railing, so one could walk out onto the ramp and down into the water. The lower end went down under the water so the dog could walk out at his leisure. I was really impressed that my brain was able to design a ramp to get the dog out of the water whilst and at the same time managing a rather complex dream. Well done, brain! I don't have brain cancer, after all. Oh, in the dream I jumped into the water, which was maybe 6 feet below the deck of the boat, and swam around with the dog for a while, then we both walked up the ramp into the boat. Funny though- dog was not a specific dog- not Rollo or Echo, just a large friendly black dog. I guess the brain was too busy with the ramp to generate a specific dog.

I'm stalling calling Geisinger. Don't like unpleasant tasks. Well, who does?

Preparing for the trip to Philly, I'm trying to find something which will not go bad and act as milk in tea. I've become quite fond of milk in my tea. Today I tried dry milk, which is not bad. It's not half and half, but it is portable and won't spoil. I really don't care for the taste of the non-dairy powder creamers, plus I know where a lot of it comes from. The New Tower at Lonza in Williamsport, a place I'm sure lives in the memories of my offspring. If anyone has any suggestions, please pass them along, either as a comment or email. TIA!

confusion

BTW, I meant the expression "there is not a lot left to my life" to refer to the fact that I can't do a lot of things I used to do or would like to do, not the length of it, whatever that may be.

bad

All right already, enough with the bad days. I should be due for a good one any time now. C'mon, gorilla, give me a break! Actually, it's not real bad, just a fair amount of discomfort, sometimes rising to the level of pain, hanging around my chest. Today it's the left lung area.

Rain last night, most of the night. Real nice sleeping weather with the windows open and the rain coming down.

The medical center is messing with me. Boy, am I tired of fighting with them. Last week I met with J the PA and thought we had a plan to have the next treatment in 3 weeks. I never did get an appointment. Yesterday I got on the web site and found I have an appointment for a treatment in 2 weeks. I never got a phone call or anything. This would put me in Philly for the ACS the week after the treatment, when I'm at my worst. Like, now! I sent an email to Dr W, but no answer. The problem is the medical center is so big that they tend to forget there are people on the other end of things. Medically they do fine, but everything else is a battle. I think I mentioned before that they tend to treat the disease, not the patient. There is not a lot left of my life, and now they want to take some more of it away without even talking to me. They are supposed to be on my side, but sometimes they act as if they are in cahoots with the gorilla.

comment

Thanks to cousin S for a very nice comment. I don't know how to respond to comments, S, so this will have to do. This blog started out as an email way to keep off-spring informed, then of course it occured to me share it with anyone interested. I'm sure I get as much out of writting it as y'all do reading it, maybe more. I try not to descend into self-pity and whine, but sometimes it's hard. This is not, in general, a fun time although there are fun times to be had along the way.

Had a bad night last night, gastric distress and then trouble sleeping. I'll probably need a nap today. Good days and bad days, right? This too shall pass.

pain

I guess I hadn't hit bottom yet yesterday. That ol' gorilla decided to slap me around a bit. More pain last evening, mostly in the chest, so much so that I had to take some more oxy. That stuff really works! Pain subsided and I was able to sleep. I feel pretty good this morning. The grass didn't get cut either; weather was fine, but I wasn't. We'll see what today brings.

I'm starting to put things together for the Philly trip. My blazer, which fit fine several months ago, is now too big. Not much too big, so I guess I'll wear it, but still a nuisance. And I'm having the usual issues with getting everything I want into my small rolling bag, plus the suit carrier which will take the blazer and pants, maybe shirts too. The laptop has it's own bag too, my ex briefcase, which straps to the rolling bag very nicely. I spent 5 days in Germany with that small rolling bag and briefcase, doing business calls, so I should be able to spend 3 days in Philly.

I'm starting to put a plan together for a trip to the Northern Front for JEB's birthday on 9-9. We'll probably be there for the prior weekend. We figure on 3 days, about 4-5 hours a day, should do it. I found it's actually less miles to go across northern Vermont on highway 2 than to go via Windham. So the tentative plan is to stop in Windham to visit going one way and do Vermont for the other way. You will not be surprised to hear that Excel is getting a workout! I always did think planning for a trip is half the fun, and Excel makes it really easy.

bad

There are good days and bad days, as we know. Yesterday and today qualify as "bad", probably due to the chemo treatment on Thursday. I generally hit bottom the weekend after the treatment, and this is it. So I have some discomfort (but not to the level of pain), gastric distress, and sleeping problems related to the first two. This too shall pass.

I got my electronic issues solved. A phone call to Direct TV took care of the receiver in the office. She said it was a technical glitch, and fixed it in a few seconds. And I solved the blog issue yesterday.

The papers for the ACS meeting are on line, and searchable. How cool is that? Back in the day, we had to read all the titles and try to decide if a given paper was of interest. Searchable is much cooler. So I set up a bookmark in the laptop so I can do it on site, or at least from the hotel. On the other hand, the first paper I found that I would have liked to see is a poster on Wednesday evening, and I need to be home by then. I also set up an account on STN so I can read abstracts. It costs $2 for a search, which is not bad if you only want a few. I miss having the company account and be able to search a lot! If anyone wants to know, I think we emeritis members should be able to do a limited amount of searching free.

Weather in the EF is outstandiongly nice. After the rain yesterday AM, it dryed out and a light breeze came up. Really nice. I may get to cutting the grass today, on the once a week schedule. We'll see how I feel later.

wet

It's a wet morning in the Enchanted Forest. Early, like about 6 or 6:30, I woke to the sound of thunder in the distence. Our bedroom has two nice windows next to the bed (or maybe the bed is next to the windows) which look out into the forest. Windows are open this time of year; we don't have AC except for the trees. The sound just kept getting louder and louder until it was on top of us and the rain was coming down. This was about 7, our usual get up time, but I managed to talk to dog into going back to bed until the rain stopped, which was about 8:30.

Yesterday I went to Geisinger for my shot, a total non-event, then on to the Lycoming Mall for shampoo and to continue the quest for the double shafted skewers. Couldn't find any double shafted skewers, clean forgot the shampoo, but did pick up a pair of 32 x 32 Dockers. Par for the course.

My energy levels etc are gradually decreasing due to the fresh chemo, also par for the course. No news on the CT scan or the next chemo.

I seem to have forgotten to spell check the blog yesterday. Sorry! Also, I couldn't open the blog last evening or today on either of my machines, the XP desktop or the VISTA laptop. I deleted the Java script thing which was counting the number of hits, and now it works again. So if any of you got caught in that, sorry!

The satellite dish controller for the TV on my desk has an issue. It tells me I inserted the wrong card. I didn't insert any card. Dunno what that's about. The one downstairs works fine. I tried the cold boot, which usually fixes anything, but no joy. So I have a project.

lentils

The 800 lb gorilla in the room doesn't like them. Boy, does he ever dislike them! Massive gastric distress. Perhaps I should start at the begionning. I went for my Geisinger appontyment yuesterday- J the PA says I'm fine, as I said yesterday. Then I sat for several hours with the IV of one of the chemos going in. (I take the other orally.) While the IV was running, we eat lunch, which we bring. So I asked Mom to go down and get me some soup to go with the sandwich. She brought back lentil soup, which was excellent. It was a mass of damp solids, not runny at all. Then later, in the evening, after dinner (tortillini with tomoto sauce w/ red wine) the gastric distress started. It went on all night, even with the a little this morning. The gas was especially painful. As a consequence, we got up at almost 8:30 this AM.

Later today I go back to Geisinger for the shot which stimulates my bone marrow to generate white blood cells. This is the one which would cost thousands of dollars if the give me a script to self-inject and costs nothng if they do it in the clinic. Don't mind a drive for that kind of money. I may come back via Williamsport and do a little shopping on the way.

Saw a little piece on CNN this AM regarding the polution in Peking. High particulate matter, in the 200s, about 10x what they have in Chicago. They say the masks work. Might that be helpful on the Western Front?

Gotta love them Cubs! Brewers were hoping for a sweep of the 4 game series at home, instead the Cubs swept, and by big differances in the scores too.

By the way, there is another 800 lb gorilla in the room nobody ever mentions. It's called "Spontanous Remission" and is what they call it when cancer goes away by itself. Yesterday J the PA confirmed what I understood- at best the chemo will stop the cancer in place, but not remove it or be in any sense a cure.